(This was originally started on August 2, 2006 and I was not able to complete.)  Today is a very difficult day for me so I thought I would get on here and see if putting it down in writing helps. 

I have to take my 11 year old Himalayan cat (Digger) in to be put to sleep this afternoon.  He has a very rare form of a lung cancer (there have only been 3 known cases in 26 years) is what the vet has told us.  This is the first cat I’ve ever owned that was raised from a 7 week old kitten and he’s been my baby.  With losing my 2 sons to a house fire when I got him I’ve treated him as a part of the family.  This is really taking it’s tole on me today.  They discovered this about 6 weeks ago and gave him between 1 to 2 months, it’s a very speedy disease I’m told.

Well it’s 12/18 and I wasn’t able to finish my note above.  He was put to sleep and it’s still been pretty hard on me.  I can’t believe that I would miss him as much as I do…it’s a little bit tougher right now since Wednesday the 20th is the anniversary of the house fire that my 2 sons died in.  Some Christmas’s are worse than others and this one seems to be a tough one coming on.  I’ve been sitting around crying wondering what they would look like and how they would have turned out.  I know I need to keep busy so I don’t sit around and cry all day while I’m home alone.

I wish each of you reading this the Very Merriest of Christmas’s and a Great Holiday Season for those that do not celebrate Christmas.