Today is the anniversary of the fire that took my sons aged 8 and 5 and almost took my life as well.....Everyone spend time with their loved ones, do not take them for granted, we never know when they will be taken from us!

First off I would like to say thank you for everyone's kind words regarding my BIL (brother-in-law) and SIL (sister-in-law) who is my husband's sister.  It appears that he is doing well.  They will be making a determination within the next couple of days whether he will need to stay for an additional period of 14 to 20 days.  When he went in he had to sign a paper that indicated if they made that determination it would be "involuntary" so he has to stay whether he wants to or not.  We are all very relieved that he is getting the help that he actually needs.  He has said that he is doing this for himself and his family so we believe that is a GREAT sign and he is finally getting the help he needs.   We never realize as parents, when our children are young, the impact we have on their future.  What children are told (whether true or not) carry a great deal of impact on them as they mature into adults.  That is what has a lot to do with what he is going through now, it has finally caught up with him as a 41 year old man.  His parents still do not know that he is in the hospital and he has no intention of letting them know.  But the kicker here is that they haven't even called to find out why they haven't heard from him....

I believe that everyone here on Xanga has a good heart otherwise we would not be here.  But I feel going through what I am right now I need to say this.  Please remember, as parents of young children that what is said and done today will stay with them for the rest of their lives, the good, the bad and the ugly.  And I don't think anyone wants to see the situation that my BIL is going through happen to their child.  Enough of me being on my soapbox today.

Sorry I wasn't able to attend the Xanga Christmas Party yesterday.  My SIL and I went to Palo Alto to try to save his job!  Thankfully we were able to speak with the Human Resource Manager and provide all the necessary documents for them to place him on medical leave.  The family doctor that would not sign the required paperwork to keep him out of work we think has realized what he did and finally signed it.  (Probably because he is worried about a law suit.)  So as of yesterday he is now on medical leave until he is able to return to work.  I think that will be a big load off of his mind as well as my SIL, we did not get home until late afternoon.  But after reading sites this morning it appears that everyone had a good time.  I was pleasantly surprised to see on AbbyNormals site that I came in second on the cutest baby!  What a hoot.

I'm working from home today so I better get to work .  Everyone have a wonderful day and a better tomorrow.

Geesh the last 24 hours has been very exhausting.  My SIL called yesterday morning around 5 a.m. and asked that we come down to Fairfield as the police had just taken her husband.   He has been off of work for about 6 weeks now , has been diagnosed with depression and placed on Xoloft (?).  The family doctor, I do not believe was treating him properly and we had suggested they get a second opinion.  My SIL had been trying (without success) to get him to a physiologist this last week.  The doctor indicating he could not make the appointment until he spoke with the patient himself.  She went to bed Friday evening and was awakened by a phone call, it was him calling from the kitchen.  She said she got up, still dazed from waking up (this was about 3:30 a.m.), walked out to the kitchen (not totally understanding what was going on) when she discovered he had blood on his hands, shirt, and the floor.  He looked at her and said he needed some help that he had broken a glass.  After looking around she realized he had not broken a glass, looked at him and said, you do not want to do this!  He started in with he no longer wants to live and the typical ranting's not only of someone in a state of depression but he had been drinking as well.  Remember, this is on top of medication...not good!

She called the police not knowing who else to call.  They arrived with EMT's and ended up taking him into the jail for detox because he was drinking.  They indicated that he would be there about 4 hours and then they would transfer him to the Crisis Center.  That was about 5 a.m. yesterday morning.  We spent the better part of the day trying to get information on him,  the system is so frustrating....they will not give out information.  Ultimately, at about 9:30 p.m. last night we found out where he was and had to take his medical card over to them so they could get authorization to transfer him to a mental health hospital in Vallejo.  What an ordeal this has been....I can't believe the bureaucracy, even when a family member calls for help and the patient goes willingly (I think he knows he reached bottom) that the system is so uncompassionate!

We have had a bumpy road with my BIL over the 20 years that they have had a relationship.  He did not come from a family that knows anything, and I do mean anything about love.  He has a hard time hugging people, let alone having anyone hug him.  Well at 40 years of age it has finally caught up with him.  The big kicker here was that his boss called on Friday and indicated that if he did not come back to work (with all the proper documents signed by a doctor) he was going to be terminated on Monday.  That we believe, threw him over the edge.  He has been an IT technician at a medical center in Palo Alto for 15 years.  Now we are hoping that he can get the help he needs and get on the road to good mental health.  I'm so concerned for his son (age 10) and what he will be going through this holiday season in the event his Dad does not come home soon.  I guess we can take solace in knowing that he is finally getting the help he needs, hopefully!

At least this has taken my focus off of myself and how depressed I get at this time of the year because of the anniversary of fire and the loss of my sons, that is December 20th.  We now need to concentrate on getting my SIL and nephew through this trying time.

On a happier note we were able to get the skateboard for the 12 year old....yippy!  Now I know that at least these 3 kids will not be disappointed on Christmas day. 

Hoping everyone is having a great weekend and getting ready for the holiday season ahead of us.

Happy Holidays

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Oh dear, is this what we have to look forward too!

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

Happy Holidays

Update....Doesn't it look wonderful...Tina re-did my site in the Christmas spirit...I love it.  Thank you Tina

I know...my site is pretty boring these days!  After Tina did such as wonderful job of designing my site I went and messed it up   It appears that once the site is done, you cannot make any changes to it.  I had changed my email address and wanted to update that section, well I screwed it up.  So....Tina, I'm taking a community flogging and in doing so hopefully will let everyone else know that once you have your site skinned by a professional.... don't touch it....leave it alone....let the professional's handle it!  Lesson learned!!!

We went shopping Thursday evening and were able to fulfill most of the 3 children's wishes for Christmas.  We were so lucky to find this wonderful, cuddly, Pooh bear for the 3 year old at the Disney store (on sale) almost makes me want to keep it for myself   The 10 year old girl is having both of her wishes filled.  She wanted a Barbie watch or Barbie doll...we were able to get both for her and the Barbie doll even has several changes of clothes.   The 12 year old boy still has me in a bit of a quandary.  He wanted a skateboard or a helmet.  I would love to get him both, but does anyone know how much a skateboard is these days?  I was truly shocked and amazed.  At a Design your own Skateboard shop they started at $79.99, we even went to Target and they are $50 there....anyone know where we can go and obtain a more reasonable one?  We did purchase the helmet, but what good is a helmet without the skateboard I ask you?  So...you can see my dilemma, what should we do?  Think I'll go check the internet and see what we can come up with.  I really don't want to disappoint this child, I'm sure they have enough of those these days.

Christmas season has really arrived....the traffic is getting terrible and it is taking me 30 minutes to get home from work and it's only 7 miles! 

I have a story to share that brought tears to my eyes last night.  My husband came home from work with 3 children's names he pulled off a tree at work (he works for Mervyn's).  Every year they put up a tree with children's names, ages and what they want from Santa Claus.  These are needy families within our community.  When he was telling me about one of the names, a 3 year old who wants a Pooh bear, he said it reminded him of Barry (my youngest son that died in the fire, he was 5).  Barry loved Pooh bear and I had bought him a Pooh bear sleeping bag that year for Christmas.  Since the fire occurred on December 20th he never received that gift.  I still have that sleeping bag today, I can't seem to part with it.  Anyway...my husband was the person putting up the tree and placing the names on it.  He said that this one just pulled at his heart strings and made him get tears in his eyes.  Now you have to know, this is not my sons father....this is my second husband, however, he did know my children, our families worked together.  My mother and his mother worked at the same hamburger stand, very popular place in Fairfield. 

I personally have always volunteered at charity events (I am on the board of directors for Contra Costa County Relay for Life), but for my husband to do this on his own without my prompting has made my heart swell.  Maybe I am finally rubbing off on him   Isn't this exciting? we now have to do some shopping for 3 children, the 3 year old boy, a 10 year old girl and a 12 year old boy.

Ain't it the truth

Did anyone brave the crowds on Friday and go out the day after Thanksgiving to find any of those advertised deals for Christmas?  I had to work, but the floor that I am on only had 4 people there (normally there are about 75 to 100).  So...the 4 of us played hooky and went to the movies for the first showing of Solaris.  I will not jade your opinion of what we thought of the movie, but just as a side note I would not go again!  The best part of the whole movie was seeing George Clooney's booty (and pecks).

The weather around here has been lousy, overcast nasty days, where you almost can't see in front of you.  I just wished it would rain, at least it would be doing some good versus just making everyone feel miserable. 

I am going to brave the crowds today and hit Costco or Sam's Club not sure which yet.  I usually try not to do that on the weekends because it is so crazy here.  Way to many people trying to get shopping done but the need for some staples such as milk and bread has arisen and since it is so much cheaper there I will go.

Hope everyone who had a long 4 day weekend is enjoying themselves!

We will be having an early Thanksgiving this year.  Very good friends of ours will be having their Thanksgiving dinner today so that all the family can get together and attend.  I'll try to make this a short story so as not to bore everyone.

My husband works for Mervyn's and does the visual merchandising for the store.  That means he does all the decorating, very huge job!  Each store has it's own manager and believe me they are a very tight knit group (those within his district) anyway.  They are on the phone with each other several times a day trying to make sure that each one does the presentations in a very similar manner for the district.  Needless to say, we also get together every couple of weeks at a different hangout for eats, drinks and general merriment   We have made some wonderful friends due to his job!  One in particular was a fairly young guy who kinda took to us (he was single) and just like to hang around the old couple.  We would do lots of stuff together with just the 3 of us or a 4th, when he would meet someone special.  (Which he has now and married.) During the course of these adventures we discovered he had grown up in Fairfield as well (where my husband and I both grew up).  One day they were talking and low and behold Jim grew up on the same street as my husband, further discussion lead to finding out that both of their sisters played together as children and I went to High School with his mother!  It never ceases to amaze me at just how small the world is huh? 

Well....since then (about 7 years now) we have been included on most all family get together's.  Since my parents are both gone and we are the black sheep of my husbands family these wonderful people have taken us into their hearts and homes.  So, today is Thanksgiving for us and I have to make a pie, what kind you say...hummmm Pecan I think

Everyone have a wonderful Sunday, we'll be stuffing ourselves and needing to wobble home tonight.

Hi Everyone....sorry I haven't been around to your site's lately, it has been crazy around here.  My husband had a pretty bad time during our trip to Australia, he had injured himself at work a couple of days before we left.  Well, his job got concerned last Thursday and finally filled out an accident report and sent him to their doctor.  Needless to say he was told to stay at home for 2 weeks and do nothing.  Well of course you know men!  That is exactly what he is doing....nothing   So he is home and he is constantly wanting this and that and everything else.  Needless to say I haven't had a minute to myself.  He goes back to the doctor tomorrow, they will do a CT scan and then decide what the next step is. 

I don't know if I've said before but I work for Bank of America in the technology end of the business.  It is pretty depressing these days, people are being laid off every day.  Good people too, with lots of knowledge and expertise, don't know what we are going to do with all this knowledge base gone.  Anyway, it is pretty depressing at work as well, and around the holidays too...couldn't they do it at a better time?  I know..they want the folks off the books before the beginning of the new year.  Yeah, yeah....

I'll get around to everyone's site really soon, sorry for the delay.